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For Ingmar

by Saughan Vupple

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1.
Lay on the grass in the seasonal sun I spy the Virgin Mary leading her son What does it mean? What can I say? Enjoy the drinks and ballads either way Whatever, don’t matter Wild strawberries Whatever, don’t matter Wild strawberries If the ocean floods us, we will swim with sharks And if the stars all burn out, we’ll tell stories in the dark Wipe the blood and the sweat off your brow It means absolutely nothing to you now God is here in the air Taste the fruit that harmony bears Whatever, don’t matter Wild strawberries If the ocean floods us, we will swim with sharks And if the stars all burn out, we’ll tell stories in the dark If the ocean floods us, we will swim with sharks And if the stars all burn out, we’ll tell stories in the dark Whatever, don’t matter Wild strawberries
2.
Requiem 02:38
I can’t explain the sweet sweet pain Of home away from home below the depths I’ve kept unknown Accepting only lonely skin and bone Mermaid girls with golden curls Speak to me so frequently with secrets sneaking serpentine Waiting to unfurl I have always known None of this is real inside of me Images from long ago Leave me in the chambers of the sea Mother Moon is singing to Children sleeping heavenly in dreams of what may never be All theirs to keep I have always known I have always known I have always known Requiem and nothing at all Requiem and nothing at all Requiem and nothing at all Requiem and nothing at all
3.
Hazy Gray 02:51
Why do you think so much of me? I’m just a fucking amateur Why’d you make me wish, make me miss all the pointlessness of where we were? Foggy nights out on the plaza with the wolves, now everybody’s shipping off Wave goodbye to Ma and Pa and say goodnight to all of the friends I got In the end, who’s to say once it’s left my brain? Please just leave the lantern by my bedside and I’ll drift into unconsciousness Find me spying in the silence by myself just trying hard to reminisce Everything escapes in my mind by the time I’m awake Losing the ability to feel what is real and what is fake In the end, who’s to say once it’s left my brain? Rainy day, ocean sky, hazy grey, whisper shining secrets Rainy day, ocean sky, hazy grey, whisper shining secrets Rainy day, ocean sky, we are nothing, you and I
4.
Silence 03:21
After disputing we all understood We’d lost sense of time Traveling North on a strong wooden ship Everyone losing their minds The skies had stayed gray for every day Since we’d embarked on our treacherous way We sung all our shanties straight from the heart Praying in time that the storm clouds would part Mother Atlantic had worn us all thin Pale bony bodies turned white We begged to the heavens, “please open up with color and light” The clouds started circling We all stopped worshipping O almighty Speak to us finally The skies opened up, but not to blue joy The heavens were black and silently void The vortex was starless; we stared in awe Could this be Death? Could this be God?
5.
Spiderlegs 03:05
I come from dust and mud Centuries of blood Find me underground Where I’m sleeping now My mother was a harvestman My father was an alchemist Me, I’m just a nobody Someone’s brother at my best Disaffection since conception
Melancholy since my birth I’ll be kicking dust clouds Until I leave this Earth Spindle, spindle spiderlegs Hurry, hurry home again Spirits out my bedroom window Dancing ‘round the fire pit I was just a child then The world wasn’t scary yet Find me underground Where I’m sleeping now Little village, wooden houses Stone church between the mountains God inhabits clouds above us That’s why he can’t hear shouting Spindle, spindle spiderlegs Hurry, hurry home again Spindle, spindle spiderlegs Hurry, hurry home again
6.
Valentines 03:25
Hello, is that you in the basement out of view? Close my eyes, I turn white, I visit you late at night In dreams, just between you and me, I don’t really feel asleep Valentines in the trees taken by evening breeze Broken window leaves a way for the bugs to escape In dreams, just between you and me, I don’t really feel asleep Are these my lies? Am I alive? Have you got any way to tell me I'm not where I'm supposed to be? Am I in love? I don’t know, I don’t care enough to show Every time you come by, I leave my body in the sky In dreams, just between you and me, I don’t really feel asleep Feel asleep Feel asleep Feel asleep
7.
Look from the castle walls, look from the castle walls At how the sunlight falls, at how the sunlight falls On sleeping mountains green, on sleeping mountains green And spider webs in the breeze, the spider webs in the breeze Where did you come from my dear? We are all inventions of here I hear the valley horns, I hear the valley horns If only we were born, if only we were born Three hundred years ago, three hundred years ago, All dressed in clothes of old, all dressed in clothes of old We’ve been playing this day’s role For the night, forget your modern soul Follow me to somewhere else in time Gold coins and war machines, gold coins and war machines Tales of the kings and queens, tales of the kings and queens Attending carnivals, attending carnivals Oh how remarkable, oh how remarkable I would like to start afresh But I am just young mortal flesh It’s all a hopeless dream of being Here we stand on ancient stone And all the dreams of long ago
8.
Rainwater 03:04
Sneaking out the back window Youngest I’ll ever be Skateboard wheels on the pavement You don’t know what it meant, it meant to me Because all my memories, they will fade away Floating in the free summer breeze forgotten yesterday by the Milky Way Dirt roads worn like shoe soles, hiding layers of the past Buried deep like fossils of generations turned to ash Find for me an age old tree swaying in the shade We can waste the day and carve our names Because all my memories, they will fade away Floating in the free summer breeze forgotten yesterday by the Milky Way
9.
Everyone you forget about Everyone you forget about Everyone you forget about You will see in the ocean’s mouth You will see in the ocean’s mouth You will see in the ocean’s mouth You bled from me and soaked all the leaves green While springtime peepers sound alive and clean Through moonlit bedroom window screens Blowing lovely oxygen whose secrets I’d forgotten in the wind Please allow me to begin again Please allow me to begin again There’s a place we all recollect There’s a place we all recollect There’s a place we all recollect When I’m worn and tired I still find myself Admiring the same old roads I’ve known since I was eight years old I’ll see you there with sandy toes At the beach where all the old souls go Requiem and nothing at all Requiem and nothing at all Requiem and nothing at all Requiem and nothing at all

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released July 24, 2020

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Saughan Vupple Boston, Massachusetts

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